Avoidance

I'm learning that it is rather difficult to avoid two things at the same time.  I don't want to work since I'm having all sorts of anxiety about the change in my job that means this is the last guaranteed work I have.  I also am not really ready to productively obsess about compassion. This means I can't use one to avoid the other and, because of the rules of productive obsession, I can't use any other distractions that I would normally employ.

I have already played several rounds of Plants Vs. Zombies and updated our budget, including paying rent and trying to calculate the impact of my losing more income (just made the anxiety worse).  I have been half watching a bunch of episodes of "Undercover Boss" because I realized that they do a really good job of showing compassion for the employees at each company.  There's also some good stuff about changing the direction or focus of a company to put employees first, since they are the ones responsible for the success of the company.  That is a very compassionate outlook that is also financially responsible.  It reminds me that it is possible to look out for the bottom line while being compassionate at the same time.

I did write out a list of tasks that I want to accomplish this week.  They aren't directly related to compassion, but they are things that I would be doing if I weren't struggling with my main issue -- the Big One that this obsession is really about.  But I'm still not quite ready to share that publicly.  Maybe sometime in the next few days.

The other compassion exercise I did was to write a list of things that are OK.  Since this is directly related to the Big One, I can't go into details yet, but I do promise to share the list once I am ready. 

I guess that means I'm not completely avoiding my new PO -- and I am going to write about the Big One soon.  Otherwise much of this blog won't make sense to anyone except Johnnie.