Body Compassion

When I realized that I would need to be working on self compassion as part of this productive obsession, I recognized that a big part of that was going to involve what I refer to as body compassion.  It goes beyond the idea of improving my body image. I need to consider my body to be an entity all its own and treat it with the same compassion and loving kindness that I strive to show others.

I have had a contentious relationship with my body throughout my life. At different periods of time I have actively worked on improving personal body image and on learning to love my body.  I am in a much better place than I was twenty ago when I was an adolescent, but I still have a lot of work to do.

Having to face these body problems is right up there as one of my fears about compassion.  Mostly because I am comfortable with my habits and I don't want to have to change. Change is work and it can be very hard and I'd so much rather just coast along -- even though I know that coasting is bad for my spirit and hazardous to my health.

I have been trying to identify what it means to me to show compassion for my body.  I've come up with a few central principles:

1. Do not harm my body
2. Listen to the biological signals my body is constantly sending
3. Nurture my body
4. Praise and reward my body

Sounds simple, but its really very scary to me.

Putting it into Practice

So far I have had mixed success on these four principles.

Do Not Harm My Body

This means breaking bad habits like picking my nails, scabs, and calluses.  It also means recognizing when I'm injured or in pain and not "overdoing it" as that can cause harm.  I am also striving to be more aware of what I am doing with my body at all times, so that I don't risk "accidents" like when I wrenched my knee last month and couldn't do anything for a week.

Listen to My Body

In many ways this is harder than breaking the bad habits on the first principle.  Not only do I have to stop eating without thinking or slouching into bad positions that aren't good for me, I have to be more discerning of the messages I'm receiving from my body.  Understanding the difference between my body saying it is hungry and my mind/emotions craving something for comfort or out of anxiety is extremely difficult. Likewise, being able to act on the message once I decipher it can be a struggle.  Sure I may feel full but my id wants to continue the immediate pleasure of snacks. When I'm tired, I don't want to go to sleep when I can finish reading an intriguing book. Listening to my body means that I have to stop ignoring the messages its sends.

Nurture My Body

This is where the problems of body image kick in.  If I don't like my body, why should I bother to nurture it?  The flip side of this is that if I am all about "fixing" my body, that just reinforces that I don't like it and feel it is unworthy.  Adopting an attitude of loving kindness and compassion means that I need to engage in activities that help my body be healthy and happy without judgements about its current state or harsh expectations about its future. I want to acquire positive habits and practices that will nurture the growth and health of my body.  Much easier to say than to do at this point.

Praise and Reward My Body

Again, body image is at the forefront. I have to believe there is something good about my body in order to praise it.  I am working on an attitude of reverence for my body -- for everything it gives me throughout the day and for it simply existing in its current state.  Again, much harder in practice than in thought.  As for rewards, what would be a reward for a body that isn't tied to emotions and mental processes?  For now I'm offering loving attention to different parts of my body.  I think I will need to reframe the way I think about things like exercise and attention in order to discover other 'rewards' that may work.