Reboot

Last summer I committed to productive obsession.  The basic concept is to actively choose a topic, goal, or problem and to focus all my mental energies to the pursuit of that grand idea.  The goal is that obsession will move from mental exercise to action and will transform me and my life. This comes from a book called brainstorm by Eric and Ann Maisel.

As I embarked on my first obsession (to embrace my talent as a leader), I started a private blog here where I could document my journey.  I wasn't sure at the time if I wanted to share it with the world or with just a few trusted individuals. (My Life Partner got to read it from the beginning, of course.)  I figured I would make that decision after a few days of experimenting.

That first obsession did prove to be transformative, though in ways I could never have expected.  I guess that't the entire point of the exercise, so I'm not complaining.  I spent several weeks choosing my obsession and taking initial steps to organize my thoughts to jump in and start on August 1st.  Those first posts have been transferred to this blog so that readers can see that archive. (It's only two posts.) As I took the first step as a leader, namely holding a Household meeting to get things in order, I triggered an avalanche of intensely emotional events that led to our House mates leaving (one at a time) over the next few months and left myself and my partner, Johnnie, in possession of a lease and utilities that we couldn't begin to meet.  On top of that, my job got changed and cut back in hours leading me into a cycle of anxiety that took months to get under control.

While I did not document any of that (I was too busy trying to tread water and oftentimes failing), I did try to keep the idea of acting as a leader foremost during these crises.  I may not have been as decisive and effective as I wished, but I did manage to take steps (eventually) to improve our life and our financial situation.  I'm not sure exactly when I stopped focusing on the thought of leadership. It probably trailed off in January when we entered a cycle of grieving for family members who died and then nursed one of our cats until I decided it was time to end her suffering.

I am about to begin another obsession.  This time it will be centered around the subject of compassion and I plan to begin it on May 1st.  I am re-reading the Maisels' book in order to refresh my understanding of the criteria for formulating an obsession and the overall concept.  I plan to take some time this week to work on this blog as a place to chronicle all my obsessions, past, present, and future.  I may set aside blogging time to reflect on how the leadership obsession played out. I will probably write some about why I am obsessing on compassion at this time and what I want to explore about it.  Once May 1st comes around, who knows what will happen.